Am I falling out of love with blogging?

Here I am yet again after disappearing for nearly a whole month from my blog. Shit happens and I won’t apologize this time. It’s currently 11 at night and I’m really tired so what will follow will mostly just be me word vomiting every single thought that I have on my mind. So be warned.

I have been blogging on and off for over two years. My blog is probably the only thing that I have ever been passionate about as I have never had a hobby that I actually enjoyed before so it is really special. But recently I haven’t been feeling the same.

I don’t even know the reason why I stopped blogging in the first place. To be honest it was a long time coming. The last time that I had properly blogged was in December when I was doing blogmas. I have only put out a couple of posts since the new year and I just felt like the whole blogging thing was starting to get overwhelming and what once made me happy, it now just stressed me out.

This stress stemmed from a lot of things. Firstly, I was stressed by the feeling that I need to write a post. This only made me feel unhappy with the posts that I finally managed to put together as they were not up to my standards. I felt like the writing was terrible and did not actually reflect what I wanted to say. They were just words that I put together in a hurry while trying to meet the deadline that I had set in my mind. All of this resulted in me burning out.

I no longer felt willing to sit down and write, take photos and edit. I began to see it as a chore instead of a hobby. I began to question myself a lot. Why were my posts so bad? Why were my photos never bright/good enough? Was anybody actually interested in what I was saying? All of these why’s!

So, for the past few weeks I just couldn’t write anymore. I blamed my exams for not writing but at the end of the day, I realized that I was actually just falling out of love with my blog and anything that had to do with it.

Suddenly Instagram and Bloglovin were just a place for me to feel worse about my content. Twitter was something that had never gotten the hold of and my tweets were just a bunch of links to posts which were probably there for nothing. I missed out on twitter chats and saw all the bloggers around me just having fun and I was there just observing.

Another thing that I wanted to touch up on is the subject of my content. I feel like I only talk about makeup, clothes and materialistic things along these lines. Do I actually care about them enough that they were all that I can talk about? But if I don’t talk about them, what else would be left of my blog? Probably just a random blogging and recipe post here and there.

I love to write but I don’t know what I would actually write about if I my blog wasn’t beauty focused anymore. I don’t feel like I am good enough about speaking on other topics. I mean am I reliable to give you tips when I am just a 17 year old trying to figure out things myself?

(If you have managed to get this far, you are probably saying – just get to the point! Well let me tell you. I don’t know what the point was. I guess that I lost it along the way. Just let me have my Trisha Paytas moment while sitting alone in the middle of the night. With that said, all I could need right now are some chicken nuggets.)

So that brings me to next question. What will happen with What Sarah Writes next? And the answer is… I don’t know. But the definite answer is that I will not stop blogging. I love my little site too much to let it go.

I guess that I will change my direction a bit and try to write things that appeal to me more. I will still write about beauty as I do enjoy a good makeup post but I will definitely be adding more lifestyle posts.

I will also try to not stress myself. I won’t stress myself because the flatlay doesn’t look cute or white enough and I won’t stress myself on posting in time. My life doesn’t depend on posting at exactly 5pm after all! I also have my A levels in a few months which put enough stress on me already.

I guess that it brings me to the conclusion. I just hope that I managed to explain myself and got my point across. Talk to you soon xx

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